what's my purpose of living ?

This moment , I really felt upset out of the sudden.
I failed my driving test for twice .....TWICE!
Despite I passed it today, I felt disgrace of it.
the totally cost for the sake of P license is rm1790!!
Pondering.

Never mind.

Yesterday, I went to MMC scholarship interview.
Something proud of it is that there's 6449 applications but the company only chosen 249 candidates from the 6449 people, I'm one of them.
YES, I do gained experiences in it .
After that interview, I felt so hopeless.
I'm so far back behind people.
I do not present well in my presentation.
I don't speak well in my English.
I don't have great ideas in my Essay Test.

WORSE thing>> I might disappoint my mum :'(

I though I'm fortunate , I though I can make it.
It's all only talks!
I don't have the ability .
I'm not a book smart neither streetwise .

I don't even know well of myself .

WHATEVER~

MY BLOG IS RUSTING!!!!!!
Seriously , I don't have the mood to write blog now.

写blog时间，是我想最多东西的时刻，
写blog时候，另我有时很低落。

简简单单地生活，才是最快乐。
缘分没到，或是说...有缘没分？

分手，不是任何人的错，
更不需任何人负责。

不知道哪一天开始，
我对你很反感！
我甚至我想一巴狠狠打下你的脸!

我想...我对你说的这一句话，
‘‘我没有后悔当初分手的决定，
却后悔当初给你一次机会’ ’
从没想过收回。

不要常不懂装懂！
不要常以为你有多了解我，而实际上，你什么都不懂。

每一次，都听你说，你会改，
听你说，你会努力，
听你说，你会听我话，
听你说，你会做好男友 ，
听你说.....

其实你一次又一次的刺伤我的心 ！


那请问， 你又会改什么？
努力，怎样努力，什么方面？
在什么时候听我话，至少意见？
什么才算好男友？


不过，你唯有到的，是你真的真的很爱我，
........
........
却不懂怎样爱。

我想，还是我要求高？

我想，可能不能只靠单方的努力。
我懂 ，没有100分的一个人，只有50分的两个人。



I HAVE NO STORY ABOUT HIM, ONLY HATRED IN MY HEART!
I KNOW IT'S HOPELESS GETTING BACK TOGETHER,
BECAUSE HIS WORDS COULD NOT BE TRUSTED.
WE BOTH DO NOT KNOW THE DESIRE OF EACH OTHER.
I HATE FOOLS TO ME WHEN I'M SERIOUS .

I DON'T MISS IT!

AND I JUST WANNA BE SINGLE FROM NOW...

PERHAPS IT'S NOT TIME,

I SHOULD FOCUS MORE ON MY DREAM AND TO FULFILLED IT.

I apologize....Am I late..?

Goshh, awkward moment,,,,
Hey, problems just don't solve if none of us make a move. You're right, actually I was at fault. I did not really start communicating each other, then problems start. We started to get far apart after that. Even lost in touch. I din't even care of it that moment. I apologize. It isn't your fault of not understanding me, the previous page, perhaps was my naive thinking. I didn't share with you when I was facing problems. Instead, I accepted it all by myself, it actually doesn't mean I didn't treat you guys as friend. Sorry for the misunderstanding I causes. Hope you guys could understand it. Sorry that I could not attend most the invitation and the days that I did not kept my promises. Sorry so much, sorry for so much havoc I causes. Sorry that I started the problem, yet still putting a blame on you guys. I was just a coward who do not have guts facing problems. I found out more about myself after all this happened, you guys are just awesome.Thanks of giving me so much.

I may not be your best friend but I don't wish we are enemies @@
Thanks for everything. Take care & cheer! :)

朋友，真真的意义....是什么？

这一天，我拿起很大的勇气，面对你。
现在的心情.....

可能我就是做不好。
可能我做的决定错了。
可能我说的话, 达不到我的意识。
可能我根本没真真的了解你们。

这一刻，我的解释，或许会让你们觉得我就在找原因弥补自己， 可是我想.... 如果要结束，至少3月20号或以后，我们见到面，不会尴尬的面对我。

TAR,
你的每一句话， 我都会努力的记得很深刻。
你的决定，我都有很努力的尊重。可能，我的表达能力不好。一月的二天，你问，如果有一天，我们没联络了，怎么样？你说你要3个月后才联络。你说你太依赖人？那是什么意识？但其实是什么原因?可能我没真真明白你的意识。
之后的每一天，我都有尽量的update你的资料。
甚至很多晚上，都睡不着....
每一次，怎么都是我主动找你信息，call你。我甚至会觉得我会很烦，每一次都在打扰你。你要的是什么？
‘真真的friendship不会因小事而破裂，这需要双方的配合。’这是你说的。
我们去年12月答应三月一起去护理，最后到来的又怎么样？本来shi bee他们都jio 我去treatment，我都拒绝了她们...因为我还记得我的承诺。虽然最后时间不合，你都快要去读书了，哪你就跟你朋友去咯...
你要约我，我忙，你们又有谁理解过我？我忙什么？朋友，不是也要互相体谅吗？你们又有真真问过吗？我有事在身，是我的错吗？
我开始失去了信心。的确没有永远，只有长久。

情人节，我真的无意要放你们飞机的。虽然选择在我手里，虽然是我先答应了你们...可是如果你们是我，你们又会怎么选？
亲情？还是友情？我外公今年88岁了..还有多少年能再见到他？还有多少年我能孝顺他，照顾他？我能那么自私吗？不过我承认我错，错于不应该早答应你们。对不起

pesta angpau,不是你们jio我先的，是我已早一个星期答应人做工，如果那一天我最后选择去pesta, 那不是说...我很自私？hui min, 谁来帮她代工？她又怎么办？

又有谁，能够明白我？能不能有人真的理解我？

一月的一个星期二晚上10点左右，你们jio我隔天（星期三）去jusco,可是我真的已先答应别人啊？这算我放飞机吗？

你们又有真的坦白的告诉我东西吗？

对，我有错，那你要我怎么补充？

我想想想，每一次都在想，但到最后的，你又会说我想太多？
那我不想，你又说我什么？

LHY,
我真的真的真的很怕你，是我不懂得安慰人，你每一次的不开心，我也没真的找你，安慰你。抱歉，我想道歉也没用。
你的面子书的每一个post ,我都没勇气去按一个like。我想，但我不敢，什么原因？我也不懂。咳，好累，这一切，就这样结束吧。

我不喜欢解释...我不喜欢诉苦...不是我没当你们是朋友，不是我不要告诉你们我的心事，是我根本不懂的开口。 我也是女生...
算了，说了那么多东西，也没用...都已成过去...
这个page都是多余的，朋友失去了信任，怎么补救，都不会回到以前那样好。

I knew it

We do keep in touch once awhile,
but I realize..... I'm just like a fool !
Why do I ever miss you when you don't .
Why am I keep finding reasons of finding you.

I knew it. I'm just finding excuses.

Today, had a long hours in that boring Amali Kursus.
Getting excited of having Driving lesson!
The day faster come plzzzzz :'(

Day 3

It's just only the 3rd but I felt like..... it's already weeks.
I opened my facebook, there's no news about you, only a video posted on your wall .

Goshhhh , what am I thinking about ?
Why am I keep thinking of you everynight until I can't even fall asleep?
Why is it I make my life so suffercating ?

should I give up .......?

2013.01.04 _______5 2013 1 4

Today, it's the 2nd day we din't keep in touch.
Sometimes, I hope to know more about you ,
I try my best everytime.
I try to be more active in facebook and found out about you,
seeking for you whether you do online or not,
but then, I failed to.
***************Sigh

I wanted to call you , but I don´t have the guts.
Am I disturbing you ?
I wanted to chat with you, but I fear to do so.

haizzzz.... what´s a true friend really mean ?
I may not really know well about you,
I may not really get what you're thinking,
I may not be there with you whenever you faces problem,
I may not have the ability to help u sometimes...

but I will try my very best to be your best friend.

龙年新年

新年快乐..

啊!新年都是拜年,吃吃吃,拿红包..

还一年比一年少 -__-

今年最后一年读中学了!

我要去朋友家拜年!:'(

初二回家乡..

Yuck!!还是自己家床最舒服..

我要回家!!

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